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The Fear No One Talks About When Adding Another Child To Your Family (Giveaway Included!)

How to be intentional when adding another child to your family

I remember being pregnant with our second child, and so many days I battled with the fear of how to extend my love to another child. As the days came closer to our second child’s arrival I realized that no one talks about this. Guilt came over me as I thought I would never be able to love another the way I loved our first. I remember a feeling of sadness in my spirit when I thought of our days of three being cut short. Savoring each week leading up to adding another baby who would soon take the majority of my attention. Hopefully, this encourages you in how to be intentional when you add another child to your family. In how to combat the fear, and anticipate all the beauty that will come when you give your child a sibling.

From those last moments as just us three, something was born in my heart. A letter to the one who first called me mommy.

“As I sit here, with tears starting to line my cheeks, I think of you.

I think of the last morning we had, where you climbed in my lap with your “baba” and we rocked in the chair in your room that mommy has always complained about because it doesn’t rock well.

I think of the way you laid on my chest, with your baby brother still snuggled inside mommy’s tummy as you laid your Bugsy blankie next to him, and patted him.

I think of how we read a few of our favorite stories before we prayed for him, and you shut the books, and said “nye nye” and pointed to your crib for nap time.

Little girl snuggling mom's pregnant belly - Quote image - You'll never know the days I feel unqualified for the name you first gave me, or the fear I have of losing you to another who will soon call me the same.

Not every morning went like that. Actually, most mornings were rushing through, onto the next to-do item or adventure in hopes of a long afternoon nap.

Maybe 1 in 20 went the way this one did,

AND I THOUGHT, “THIS COULD BE THE LAST MORNING FILLED WITH THESE MOMENTS OF JUST US TWO.”

No one talks about what could happen when adding another child to your family.

Suddenly, I stopped, I noticed.

I noticed again the way you guzzled your bottle, with milk seeping out of the holes of where your teeth hadn’t yet grown in.

I watched the way you ran your fingers together, slowly wearing off the fuzz on your blankie, and rubbed it across your forehead.

I noticed the curls that have suddenly grown, almost reaching the back of your shoulders and the way your eyelashes twitch before your blankie grazes your nose.

I noticed you.

I always notice you.

AND I PROMISE TO ALWAYS NOTICE YOU.

I think of how brave you are.

I think of how our world is going to change in just a few days, or weeks…as we beginning integrating and adding another child to our family.

AND MY HEART BREAKS AT THE THOUGHT OF THINKING I’LL FORGET

TO NOTICE YOU IN THE SEASONS and STAGES OF ADJUSTING TO TWO.

BUT, TO THE ONE WHO FIRST CALLED ME MOMMY,

You will never know the way my heart grew when I first laid eyes on you.

From the moment mommy became my name and the way we fought for you in that hospital room.

You may never know the countless days I’ve felt unqualified for the name you gave me, and the name that I will never tire of hearing pour from your room in the mornings when you wake up, eager to give your first big squeeze hug of the day.

The moments I marvel at the gift you are, as you run down our gravel drive with daddy and get the mail, and in the simple moments, you steal my heart daily.

THE MOMENTS YOU CURL UP NEXT TO ME CLOSE ENOUGH TO HEAR THE SUCKLING OF YOUR FINGERS,

AS YOU PUSH YOUR WAY TO COMFORT,

AND I PAUSE TO TAKE IT IN.

You’ll never know the fear I have of losing you to time, or for it slipping away from me slowly, as you grow.

…the fear of forgetting to savor these precious moments with you as many do when adding another child to their family.

But, I pray you’ll know of the adventures we’ve shared as just us two,

and the moments we’ll continue to have, as I promise to always notice you.

I pray you’ll know from stories of the first few nights home with you, and how we binged on DVR shows, and ate mac and cheese at 4:00 am, in hopes that in some way, that powdery fake cheese substance would give us superpowers, or a baby manual for life.

The first bath, sleepless nights, fevers, belly aches, and belly laughs.

Your first words, your first steps, squeeze hugs, and so easily falling into a full-time role of stealing our hearts.

I PRAY YOU’LL KNOW OF THE ADVENTURES WE’VE SHARED AS JUST US TWO.

THE MOMENTS WE’LL CONTINUE TO HAVE, AS WE PROMISE TO ALWAYS NOTICE YOU.

And I know the gentle reminder will be your sad eyes, when you may see mommy and daddy rocking someone new, and sharing our time.

It may be in attention tantrums or needing your quality time back with us.

BUT, TO THE ONE WHO FIRST CALLED ME MOMMY,

I promise to be intentional, to continue to pursue and fight for our time, to always notice you.

To marvel at the moments I never knew my heart could hold so dear, to remember that you’re still little, and you still need your mommy.

To the moments I will need to pick my beating heart off the floor, seeing you become “big sister” and learn of a whole new love, you may never have known existed, and I am so happy to give you that. Because adding another child to your family, to OUR family, maybe the best thing we ever do!

AND I PRAY THAT SOMEDAY, YOU WILL KNOW HOW YOU FIRST,  BECAME MY ENTIRE WORLD
CHANGED MY ENTIRE WORLD, AND WILL ALWAYS BE MY WORLD.

Love, Mommy

the name you first gave me.”

 

 

LAUNCH WEEK GIVEAWAY: Day 4

Today’s giveaway is all about handmade awesomeness!! This is your chance to win a custom handmade sign from the incredible folks over at Blue Peak Designs! Who doesn’t love these modern wooden signs, am I right?!? I know pretty much every wall in our house has at least one! 🙂 On top of that, we are also including two handmade leather-bound journals (a “his” and “hers” if you will) that are made with love from a local upholstery shop. These things are sleek!

This giveaway is now closed. Congratulations to Carla Brown!

Please send your mailing address to us at thepausepursuit@gmail.com so we can send you your prize!

Even though the giveaway is over, it’s not too late to share this post with a friend! If you know someone that this post would impact, encourage, or help, send it to them. After all, that’s what this is all about; let’s build each other up and walk through our journeys together!

 

An image of the sign and journals being given away for day 4 of our giveaway | Adding another child to your family

Giveaways, Motherhood, New Mothers, Parenting, The Pause Pursuit

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8/17/2019

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The Fear No One Talks About When Adding Another Child To Your Family (Giveaway Included!)

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  1. […] a time to celebrate the friend, who is about to become a mother for the first time, the second time, or the friend who you’ve fought on your knees for in prayer to become a mother, and are one […]

  2. […] meant expanding our family and becoming a big […]

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