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THAT Mom – Be Her | A Doubting Mom’s Reminder To Pause

So she was one of the [many] moms that gave me a pep talk before becoming a mom.

But not the pep talk like, “oh you can do it, you’re going to be a great mom”

No, the honest -real life-mama-bear- pep talk.

You know, that mom.

The call-in-all-hours-of-the-night mom in your village.

Everyone needs THAT Mom.

As we sat in pedicure chairs together, with a 38-week old babe still cookin’ in my belly we talked about everything.

I mean everythinggggggg.

We talked about delivery, birth, postpartum,

body + bellies after babies…

marriage after babies…sex after babies,

and let’s not even mention the word “tube socks” when you’ve nursed more than one baby (all you mom’s who have nursed multiples know what I’m talking about…)

and then –  after all that, her vulnerability through honesty is what stuck with me.

In the face of excitement, fear, and when the heck do you actually KNOW when to go in the hospital when you’re in labor…her next words were the real words I needed to hear.

“It’s going to be really hard.” she said to me honestly.

It’s going to take work, (and a village), and more work, but there’s nothing more incredible in the world than having these little beings call you Mama. And there will be nothing you do in this world that will test you more, OR be more rewarding than your life living outside of your body until you take your last breath.

From those words, that Mamma’s advice, with 3 children of her own, changed my life as a mother, even before I was one.

She was right, birth was hard.

right again, Motherhood IS hard.

and it’s GOING TO BE H-A-R-D.

Her words prepared me for that and helped me through the dark days of POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION.

But knowing, seeing, {and embracing} the everyday beautiful chaos that we get to call ours at the end of the day, makes me feel something.

When I stop looking, stop scrolling through what everyone else is doing,

I remember to notice the eyes looking back at me, when mine are staring into the make-believe world of cyber-space. I remember to notice what’s in front of me.

Those moments when I “remember to notice” show me, and pause these days- right in their tracks.

these days.

The hard-messy-captivating-imaginary days- of questioning what day, heck, what year it is!

The days where out of 1,000 toys in the house, your littlest wants the ONE toy his big sister has.

The days where the name “mommy” gets dragged through the mud, as you pour another cup of coffee – or just pure caffeine sticks.

The days where you’re ready for bedtime at 9:00 am then when naptime finally comes, you miss the little ones that have driven you nuts all day.

The days where instead of vacuuming the stairs, the carpet instead gets ripped out (since that’s easier) because you see only the flaws.

Maybe you’ve seen that mama, the one who only sees the flaws?

She doesn’t give herself enough credit,

She doesn’t see those mundane moments as her ministry in this season…

And even as she’s reading these words,

she’s replaying the previous days’ failures in her head.

Maybe right now, that mamma is you.

Even as you read these words mama, someone may very well be throwing a tantrum, as you sneak away to the bathroom to steal a moment for yourself.

Someone may be screaming because heaven forbid you gave them the blue sippy cup instead of the green one.

Someone needs to be fed, changed, soothed, held, or someone may quite literally be crying over spilled milk. (especially if it’s breast milk- and maybe that someone is you- I’ve been there!)

That mamma may be filling out her baby’s kindergarten application, or preparing for their youngest’s senior year…

Still, there she is, never giving herself enough credit, replaying the failures, even as these words glaze her water-filled eyes with surrender.

There she is, in the midst, and for a second, she pauses long enough to see.

Clearly.

She sees, in this moment, the impact she’s making, the love she’s giving, and the aches she’s mending, to the little ones who call HER mamma, and to the ones who are watching her from the outside looking in.

They see her being there, showing up, inspiring others, not being perfect (because we don’t live in a fantasy world) giving 110% of herself, making the days count, and letting love and grace rule over perfection.

For everything she is, and for everything she thinks she’s not, let’s take a moment to see her through her children’s eyes.

Maybe, this mama is you.

Pause.

Breathe.

Let Go.

Hold on.

Extend grace.

Be still.

Because, Mama – they need you.

Read that again.

They need you.

The littles who first gave you the name mommy, need you.

We mamas in your village need you,

You need you.

And Jesus needs you.

To live out your ministry in Motherhood as a blessing, not a burden.

 

Hope, Motherhood, New Mothers, Parenting, Uncategorized

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10/23/2019

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THAT Mom – Be Her | A Doubting Mom’s Reminder To Pause

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