A couple of days ago I talked all about the importance of pursuing your wife. Today we’re going to look at some practical steps for husbands because you know we men need some simple, straight to the point, action item takeaways, am I right?
If you missed it, read Pursue Your Wife – Part 1 here.
Here are 5 steps for husbands to pursue your wife:
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Pray FOR her…often!
- Like multiple times, every day.
- If you don’t know what to pray, simply start with, “God, bless [INSERT YOUR WIFE’S NAME HERE] today. Bring her peace and joy in whatever she encounters. I pray that she feels Your presence with her right now, in Jesus name, amen.”
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Pray WITH her!
- This can be awkward at first, but the more you do it together, the less awkward and more powerful it becomes.
- Again, here’s another example. Say, “Dear God, thank You for [INSERT YOUR WIFE’S NAME HERE]. Please continue to guide us in our marriage. Thank You for what You have done, are doing, and will do in and through us both individually and as a couple. I declare unity and overflowing love in our marriage, in Jesus name, amen.”
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Read your Bible everyday
- Don’t feel bad if you miss a day, but also don’t let it stop you from jumping right back into it.
- Before you open it, pray that God will reveal something new and timely to you.
- The Bible is an old book, but God speaks through it and you can read the same verse at 10 different times in your life and take away 10 completely different things from those exact same words. He will speak to you through it if you take just a moment and listen.
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Plan date nights (regularly and often)
- Find a sitter for the kids and get a quiet meal somewhere.
- Sometimes it may just be Taco Bell.
- The point is, you’re MAKING time for each other.
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Flirt with her
- Buy her flowers for no reason at all.
- Rub her back unexpectedly; even if only for 1 minute.
- Tickle her side when you walk by her.
- Smack her butt.
- Whisper cheesy sweet things into her ear.
- Most importantly, talk to her and see what else she likes (and doesn’t like).
Ok, I know some of these things feel awkward for us guys, but it’s often the little things throughout each day that keep her fueled and feeling loved. If you haven’t already, I highly encourage both of you to figure out what your top love languages are. Dr. Gary Chapman wrote an incredible book about this, and there is even a short quiz on his website you can take to discover how each of you feels loved the most. Knowing how she best receives love makes it much easier to pursue your wife.
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Bonus: Pray some more!
That’s just a starting point. It’s the foundation. These items need to be at the core of everything you do. We are men, it’s time we step into our role as the leader of the house; not in a commanding, domineering way, but in a loving, Godly way (WWJD–going old school on ya with that reference). It’s time to pursue your wife again (or continue to) and these steps for husbands are a great starting point. There are so many rules to manhood, but the gist of it is having the humility to love, respect, and honor like Christ.
Again, in case you missed it, read Pursue Your Wife – Part 1 here.